Thursday, December 27, 2012

Blue Up & Blue Out

Two NFL teams sporting blue are headed in opposite directions.   The Seahawks are on the rise while the Lions are freefalling.  

The Honolulu Blues of Detroit boasted early they would Restore the Roar, but in reality, it has been Remain the Snore.   No running game has led to too many late quarter losses.   How much longer will the Fords drive this franchise into the bottom of the league?    Isn't there some billionaire willing to take a shot at turning this team around?    The only chance this team has is if Red Wings' and Tigers' owner, Mike Illitch, puts his bucks in.   But, wait, no can do -  the NFL restricts ownership if you own any sports team in an NFL city.  So we, the few Lions fans left, are bound to become the NFL equivalent of the Cubs, "wait'll next year."  

The College Navy Blues of Seattle are among the hottest teams in the NFL, securing a playoff spot after thrashing the 49'ers.   All done with a rookie quarterback!    How can a small market team such as the Seahawks outdo the Lions?

Plain and simple, lack of leadership - it is time for a major shake up in the front office and ownership.   I wonder if Barry Sanders could front a group to buy out the kitty kats?    Sure the Lions boast some stars, but how long will it be before they go the route of #20 and walk away?    Somebody throw us a lifeline, PLEASE!! 

A hero emerges on the horizon, perhaps a great deal in the making. Former Beav, Steven Jackson, is on the last year of his contract with the going-nowhere St. Louis Rams.  Commenting on his possible retirement Jackson said,  "If I had to write my story, I’d rather go out like Barry Sanders...."   Is this an indication he would consider the Lions his last hoorah?   C'mon Fords do something right, talk to the man, offer him a 2 year deal.   Oh well, why do I feel I am talking to myself?   In this instance, I probably am, but it's the only way I can stay in intelligent company. 

My daughter bought me the Lion's 2012 draft day T. 
Some logo, and apparently they didn't.

Monday, November 26, 2012

No Tears For Auburn

If you have read my blog before, you know I have no love for Auburn football.    The purchase of Scam Newton two years ago made it possible for Gene Chizik to look like a coaching genius.  

But alas, the coffers ran dry and the Tigers were relegated to the role of also-rans for the following two seasons - bye, bye Gene. 

Interesting isn't it that Auburn is under NCAA investigation for potential improprieties involving Auburn recruits, players, coaches, representatives of the school's athletic interests and third parties.   Hmm, the facts are sure to surface on the procurement of Scam.   Boosters better get a picture with the BCS Championship trophy fast, it is soon to disappear! 

 Chizik will soon be a fading memory in Bo-Land and the search is on for a high caliber replacement, good luck with that.    Bobby Petrino has been mentioned as a possible replacement - and if they're looking to replace a coach of questionable character, your man is Petrino. 

He would not only be able to coach, but give motorcycle riding lessons, offer advice on dating, and lecture on ethical hiring practices.  
From one schmuck to another, why not?

And the Lions lose again........

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Tanks, Tanks A Lot

The sun came up this morning like any other, 
oh wait we are in the Willamette Valley....   
Start again.    
The rain fell this morning like any other, 
the world did not come to a crashing halt just because 
the Oregon offense took the previous night off against Stanford.   

The defense did more than enough to win the game, but the blur became slo mo and in the end we had to leave it up to a kicker.   Not really football players, kickers wait on the sideline until the offense is stopped from dancing in the end zone and then they trot out in semi-football gear and swing their leg.   This is not a familiar sight for Duck fans, we are accustomed to watching a lineman lift a running back in celebration, not folding our hands in prayer as some soccer cast-off attempts to kick it through the uprights.  And so it goes, one loss - one stinkin' loss and our hopes for a national title become dim.   
Heck, national title, what am I saying, 
our chances of playing for the conference title are dismal.  
We could hope for UCLA to help us out, 
but when have they done us any favors, other than to fire New Weisel?    
So here we are, hoping Mora's Cubs can put together a game plan to score more than the paltry 14 points Oregon managed.   

But, there are thoughts of an impending turkey feast, a Black Friday frenzy, our traditional Thanksgiving Day movie, and ........... THE CIVIL WAR!!! 
 #5 Oregon vs #16 Oregon State
Bring it Flat Tails!!

Oh, and by the way,
Detroit found a way to lose to Green Bay on Sunday, hoo boy.....

Sunday, November 11, 2012

A Handfull

     While meeting with a philosophical society I belong to, it was pointed out that I have small hands.   So much so, that it brought hilarity to the group.  No worries, it did not do irreparable harm to my psyche.   Having spent so much time in the athletic world, I have developed that currently-uncommon ability to laugh at myself.   Locker room jabs hit everyone in my era and you learned to not take yourself so seriously that you allow the good natured jabs that are thrown you way to cause cranial distress.   But, in some instances, the Geek God of small hands, Manipulus, fires back at the tormentors of the miniscule-mitted.   A staunch Beaver Believer was one of the most vocal of my hand hecklers.    On Saturday, the Beavs lost to the Stanford Cardinal.   Late in the 4th quarter, OSU QB Cody Vaz fumbled to give Stanford the ball, which led to the winning touchdown for the Cardinal.   The problem?  Vaz has small hands.    Hmm, you never know when Karma will rise up and bite you on the Vaz.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Good, The Bad, and The....well, Me

                                 THE GOOD

Tigers are in the
World Series!

                                                                              THE BAD

                  They lose in 4.


                                 THE GOOD

Kenjon Barner gashes the USC defense for 321 yards and 5 TD's.

                                                                                      THE BAD

     USC hipe.    Even when they are losing, the announcers are talking about the future of trojans defenders in the NFL.  Barf.   It just goes to show what happens when you only play for self-promotion.

                               THE GOOD

     QB Russel Wilson's success with the Seahawks.   Sure, big surprise.   Those who paid attention during the Rose Bowl knew he was a special talent.   Now if Pete Carroll can avoid screwing him up.

                                                                                  THE BAD

     Lions are exposed for what they are, a one trick pony.   No running game has left them hoping to get  in the mix for a wild card.   My prediction, no better than .500 and I really feel they could go 6W - 10L for the season.    How does my early writings about getting a quality running back look now? 



                  THE GOOD

Hockey season is here!
                                                                                     THE BAD

     Not for the NHL.   Will the players get wise to hiring Donald Fehr to negotiate their new contract?   C'mon, he's just another lawyer who only cares about winning - not about who he represents.  We have already lost the Winter Classic - is the entire season at risk?   Fire Fehr and drop the puck, you're quickly losing fan support!

         And now for THE UGLY
     I took my daughter and her friend to a Eugene Generals hockey game a few weekends past.   During the game they were punking a friend of theirs by texting her we were at a game in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, where I had helped Justin Bieber sing the Canadian National Anthem.   They took a picture of me and combined it with a pic of Bieber and sent it to their friend.    The problem - I look like a troll that is trying to hide in a Red Wings jacket cave.   The Native Americans had it right, when a picture is taken, a little bit of your soul is stolen away.   I definitely look like I have no soul and am about to give birth to a Zamboni.

                                                                                         More of The Ugly

    While watching the Duck - trojan game, I exclaimed, "Take that B------ (female dogs)!" when Oregon responded to USC's come back attempt.   My daughter flew out of her room and asked me if she had heard what she thought she had heard.   I confirmed my guilt.    She then went about telling her friends what I had said (who, by the way, thought it to be hilarious).  Well there goes my aspirations for political office, another promising career shot down with one word.  Bar of soap in my mouth, I feel your pain, Ralphie.  Dove is so much better tasting than Irish Spring.  .

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Yankees = Hate

     I was raised to hate the dreaded Yankees, I'm sure my Father put these thoughts in my head early in my childhood.   I had been taught that George Steinbrenner was the right-hand of the devil.  I am definitely not alone.   When I Googled Yankee Haters for this entry, the amount of graphics just kept coming.   It seems the distaste for the Pin Stripers is wide-spread. 

      But, I have to admit there are some Yankees that I actually wish well.   Not the traitor A-Rod, gee, sorry to see him benched.   How about Raul Ibanez, I like him as a Mariner and a Phillie, now he's a pinch hit, home run machine.   Curtis Granderson was great as a Tiger, but Motown needed to reduce payroll and let him go.  And, finally, Ichiro.   The heart and soul of that AAA team known as the Seattle Mariners.  I am happy he is with a team where can finally play in post season, just not too long in the post season.

Now if you were not genetically predisposed to hate the Yanks, 
the next graphic should seal the deal...
 'Nuff Said.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Cabrera, Simply The Best

     Miguel Cabrera did what no one has accomplished in baseball since Yaz in 1967 - The Triple Crown!   Non-baseballers can not appreciate the enormity of this feat, to lead in all three hitting categories takes incredible skill and a bit of luck.  His final stats - .330 batting average, 44 home runs and 139 RBI's.  He just etched his name along side greats such as Mickey Mantle, Ted Williams, Lou Gehrig, and Rogers Hornsby.     He has to be a shoe-in for MVP, leading his Tigers to the divisional championship.  

As Tina Turner sings,

"You're simply the best, 
Better than all the rest, 
Better than anyone...."

Now go out and get me the braggin' rights to the World Series Championship!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Prestigious Award Garnered

While in a meeting of highly influencial sports experts, I was awarded 
an AA Award as deemed by the A.P.  

OK, it was a group of guys talking sports in a hallway and the award was that I was an "Above Average Sports Fan" and the guy who said it was Andy P.    But, hey, I'll take 'em any way I can get 'em!  Is there going to be a reception with cake?

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Back To The Litter Box For The Cats

Welcome to Autzen, Rich Rod.   Now go home and figure out where 
it's harder to win, 
here or in the Big 10 (or is it 11?).

And, no the officials are not going to help you out...

Now for the announcement you have all been waiting for - this week's Winged Zed.   


The WZ took some time off due to lack-luster performances in the previous two non-conference games.   Ho-hummers that had me channel surfing during the game.    

 But, here we are in league play and the candidates are as follows:

Kiko Alonso & 
the Duck Front 7


Ifo Ekpre-Olomu


Colt Lyerla & Marcus Mariota (only eligible for one wing each)

 And the winner is........

Ifo Ekpre-Olomu

The sophomore out of Chino Hills was a beast versus AZ with one Pick 6, one red zone INT, and 3 pass break ups.   The Ducks needed a new secondary hero to replace John Boyett and this may be the guy.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

You Never Know

I got up this morning to check the latest news on-line when my wife informed me that our daughter was headed to that tie-dyed fair known as Saturday Market and her friend's Mother was picking her up in about 45 minutes.    

I started flying around the house - got dressed, got the mower out, and started tidying up the front yard.   About a month ago I gave up the war with my yard, the Battle for the Bluegrass was won by the sun.   It mostly resembles a very short wheat field ready for harvest, but, it looks a bit better when the combine has made a few passes.

While I was mowing, a couple of groups of bicycle riders went past.   One rider stopped in front of my house and was checking his rear wheel - flat as singer out of pitch.    

His buddies rode back to him and they huddled to figure out a solution.   Seeing their dilemma, I went into the house and got our tire pump and walked over to the group.    The guy said he had just put air in and he must have a puncture.    After they thanked me a couple of times, I went back to mowing the lawn.    

 Now, you are asking why is he telling us this snoozer of a story?    

One of the bike riders was none other than Tony Dungy, Super Bowl Champion coach and current NFL TV analyst.
I took some heat from my daughter, "Why didn't you get an autograph?"   I just figured he didn't need to be hassled and he should get to enjoy his bike ride.  

It just goes to show you, keep your eyes open, you never know who you'll run into.   Wait, did I just see Elvis at Voodoo Donuts......

Tuesday, September 4, 2012


Football season has officially begun and its time to bring back a highly honored tradition, The Winged Zed.  Seriously, who else could it go to but
Marcus Mariota.


I don't recall seeing an absolute rookie look so comfortable and poised.   Sure, it wasn't the likes of LSU he was facing, but none-the-less, he looked astounding in his debut.   So, here's to hoping he garners more of these awards in the future. 

In the great minds think alike, I had planned to make my own graphic regarding the pronunciation of his last name, but others beat me to it.   The repeated correction of his name could only lead us to Hermione Granger.....

Finally, did you notice the nouveau-retro colors.   Yep, I seem to recall those colors on the teams of the 70's, just not with so much panache.  Borrowing from singer/song writer Peter Allen, "...everything old is new again..."

Thursday, August 23, 2012

SEC Heroes, Then & Now

Tyrann Mathieu (Honey Badger)
made the Ducks lives miserable 
when they played the Tigers last season

reportedly failed drug test three times 
and dismissed from the LSU squad after only 2 seasons

Nick Fairley
made frequent visits to the Oregon backfield, 
disrupting the Blur offense in the 2011 National Championship Game

Leaving Auburn after his junior season 
he's a 3rd string player for my Lions.   
He has been arrested twice in the off season, 
once for possession of marijuana and once for DUI.

Michael Dyer
offensive MVP in Auburn's 2011 Natty win over Oregon

suspended from Auburn just prior to their 
2012 Chick-fil-A bowl appearance, 
transferred to Arkansas State, dismissed from Ark. St. 
after being stopped by police for possession of a handgun and marijuana.

(S)Cam Newton
Led Auburn to the national title in 2011

Stay tuned, it may take as long as the Reggie Bush 
blow up at USC, but it will happen.   
Mark my words!

Go SEC, leading the nation in football foul ups!

Notice the Ducks have stayed off the police blotters?
Keep your fingers crossed.