Monday, November 26, 2012

No Tears For Auburn

If you have read my blog before, you know I have no love for Auburn football.    The purchase of Scam Newton two years ago made it possible for Gene Chizik to look like a coaching genius.  

But alas, the coffers ran dry and the Tigers were relegated to the role of also-rans for the following two seasons - bye, bye Gene. 

Interesting isn't it that Auburn is under NCAA investigation for potential improprieties involving Auburn recruits, players, coaches, representatives of the school's athletic interests and third parties.   Hmm, the facts are sure to surface on the procurement of Scam.   Boosters better get a picture with the BCS Championship trophy fast, it is soon to disappear! 

 Chizik will soon be a fading memory in Bo-Land and the search is on for a high caliber replacement, good luck with that.    Bobby Petrino has been mentioned as a possible replacement - and if they're looking to replace a coach of questionable character, your man is Petrino. 

He would not only be able to coach, but give motorcycle riding lessons, offer advice on dating, and lecture on ethical hiring practices.  
From one schmuck to another, why not?

And the Lions lose again........

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Tanks, Tanks A Lot

The sun came up this morning like any other, 
oh wait we are in the Willamette Valley....   
Start again.    
The rain fell this morning like any other, 
the world did not come to a crashing halt just because 
the Oregon offense took the previous night off against Stanford.   

The defense did more than enough to win the game, but the blur became slo mo and in the end we had to leave it up to a kicker.   Not really football players, kickers wait on the sideline until the offense is stopped from dancing in the end zone and then they trot out in semi-football gear and swing their leg.   This is not a familiar sight for Duck fans, we are accustomed to watching a lineman lift a running back in celebration, not folding our hands in prayer as some soccer cast-off attempts to kick it through the uprights.  And so it goes, one loss - one stinkin' loss and our hopes for a national title become dim.   
Heck, national title, what am I saying, 
our chances of playing for the conference title are dismal.  
We could hope for UCLA to help us out, 
but when have they done us any favors, other than to fire New Weisel?    
So here we are, hoping Mora's Cubs can put together a game plan to score more than the paltry 14 points Oregon managed.   

But, there are thoughts of an impending turkey feast, a Black Friday frenzy, our traditional Thanksgiving Day movie, and ........... THE CIVIL WAR!!! 
 #5 Oregon vs #16 Oregon State
Bring it Flat Tails!!

Oh, and by the way,
Detroit found a way to lose to Green Bay on Sunday, hoo boy.....

Sunday, November 11, 2012

A Handfull

     While meeting with a philosophical society I belong to, it was pointed out that I have small hands.   So much so, that it brought hilarity to the group.  No worries, it did not do irreparable harm to my psyche.   Having spent so much time in the athletic world, I have developed that currently-uncommon ability to laugh at myself.   Locker room jabs hit everyone in my era and you learned to not take yourself so seriously that you allow the good natured jabs that are thrown you way to cause cranial distress.   But, in some instances, the Geek God of small hands, Manipulus, fires back at the tormentors of the miniscule-mitted.   A staunch Beaver Believer was one of the most vocal of my hand hecklers.    On Saturday, the Beavs lost to the Stanford Cardinal.   Late in the 4th quarter, OSU QB Cody Vaz fumbled to give Stanford the ball, which led to the winning touchdown for the Cardinal.   The problem?  Vaz has small hands.    Hmm, you never know when Karma will rise up and bite you on the Vaz.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Good, The Bad, and The....well, Me

                                 THE GOOD

Tigers are in the
World Series!

                                                                              THE BAD

                  They lose in 4.


                                 THE GOOD

Kenjon Barner gashes the USC defense for 321 yards and 5 TD's.

                                                                                      THE BAD

     USC hipe.    Even when they are losing, the announcers are talking about the future of trojans defenders in the NFL.  Barf.   It just goes to show what happens when you only play for self-promotion.

                               THE GOOD

     QB Russel Wilson's success with the Seahawks.   Sure, big surprise.   Those who paid attention during the Rose Bowl knew he was a special talent.   Now if Pete Carroll can avoid screwing him up.

                                                                                  THE BAD

     Lions are exposed for what they are, a one trick pony.   No running game has left them hoping to get  in the mix for a wild card.   My prediction, no better than .500 and I really feel they could go 6W - 10L for the season.    How does my early writings about getting a quality running back look now? 



                  THE GOOD

Hockey season is here!
                                                                                     THE BAD

     Not for the NHL.   Will the players get wise to hiring Donald Fehr to negotiate their new contract?   C'mon, he's just another lawyer who only cares about winning - not about who he represents.  We have already lost the Winter Classic - is the entire season at risk?   Fire Fehr and drop the puck, you're quickly losing fan support!

         And now for THE UGLY
     I took my daughter and her friend to a Eugene Generals hockey game a few weekends past.   During the game they were punking a friend of theirs by texting her we were at a game in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, where I had helped Justin Bieber sing the Canadian National Anthem.   They took a picture of me and combined it with a pic of Bieber and sent it to their friend.    The problem - I look like a troll that is trying to hide in a Red Wings jacket cave.   The Native Americans had it right, when a picture is taken, a little bit of your soul is stolen away.   I definitely look like I have no soul and am about to give birth to a Zamboni.

                                                                                         More of The Ugly

    While watching the Duck - trojan game, I exclaimed, "Take that B------ (female dogs)!" when Oregon responded to USC's come back attempt.   My daughter flew out of her room and asked me if she had heard what she thought she had heard.   I confirmed my guilt.    She then went about telling her friends what I had said (who, by the way, thought it to be hilarious).  Well there goes my aspirations for political office, another promising career shot down with one word.  Bar of soap in my mouth, I feel your pain, Ralphie.  Dove is so much better tasting than Irish Spring.  .