Friday, February 25, 2011

A Lesser of Two Evils

I don't know which is worse, a used car salesman or a weatherman.

    First, the used car salesman. 

  Yes, I said "used car", not the gentler, kinder "pre-owned car".   C'mon you don't change our attitude towards the profession by simply changing the label.   Ducks would still hate the Trojans if their name was the Southern Cal Kitties.   A cow pie by any other name would smell just as bad (apologies to Shakespeare).  This is a profession that tries to make us believe someone else's cast off is just what you need.  "What's it gonna take to get you in this car today?" 

And now the weatherman.  This guy hits you with limitless amounts of techno babble all to make you believe they can predict the upcoming weather.   Charts, doppler radar, and animated maps are all just smoke and mirrors of this modern day Snake Oil Salesman.   I would just as soon go ask Old Leonard down the street how his rhumatis' is doing.   He's far more reliable than the "Meterologists" we have spewing false predictions.

 You may be asking yourself, why is the Coach going off like this. 
 Answer, the weather people in our area predicted a great snowfall for the Willamette Valley the past week.   One to five inches were predicted on the Valley floor.   They hammered us with this prediction for days and then.....barely an inch fell which melted off immediately.   I was hoping for that magic that comes with a new snow, instead we barely got a tease.  
We'd be better off with a monkey throwing darts at a prognosticating dart board. 

With that my answer as to who is worse - definitely the weatherman.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Hello Over There

 A great thing about blogging is having an audience from all over the world.   
Just today my stats revealed viewers from Germany, France, 
and the birth place of my Grandparents, Slovakia.
Don't be afraid to leave a comment, I would really like to know what brought you to my blog.  Can it be my great literary wit?   My insightful analysis of sport?  
Or, most likely, a glitch in the search system?   
Let me know...

Congratulations to Calgary for hosting the 2011 NHL Heritage Classic.  41,022 crazed hockey fans braved the 10 degree weather 
to watch the home Flames trounce Montreal.
And to end it all, the classic handshake.   
Where else in sport do you see two entire groups, 
after bashing into each other for 60 minutes, shake hands?   
-brings a tear to my eye..

Happy Birthday To Us

Jay-R Strowbridge celebrated his 23rd birthday by going off on the Beavs for 26 points.   Seemingly unable to miss, J.R. hit 6 of 9 three-pointers and helped lead the Ducks to a trouncing of the Beavers in 335th meeting of the two schools.
Gotta give a Winged Zed to Jay-R for his play against the Corvallians.
-wish you had more eligibility left.

     Is it too early to talk about Dana Altman as Coach of the Year in the Pac 10?   Too often the award is handed out to a coach who merely has great player talent - it takes real coaching to get a team to play above their perceived abilities.   Predicted to dwell in the outhouse basement of the Pac-10, Altman's coaching has the Ducks sitting in the middle of the standings. Fans are even thinking about the possibility of post-season play.   I wonder if Duck defectors Crittle, Humphrey, Wiley, and Dunnigan wish they had stayed.......I don't.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Dancers vs Dribblers

Last week my family attended our first game at Matt Court 
and the place is spectacular.   
     It only took a second for this Alum to push aside the past and embrace the present.   The U of O has a winner with the Saturday promotion for Lady Duck basketball at $2 per seat.   Two bucks makes it affordable for this area's economically-challenged to take in an event at the jewel of the U of O's athletic machine.   Heck, the music provided by the Green Garter Band is worth more than that!   Still, a hot dog for $4.50 keeps me from reaching for my wallet at the concession stand.   Now on to the game (there was a game, right?).   I am the only sports nut in my family and the only male (can't count the neutered cat now, can we).   I am surrounded by dancers, both teachers and performers - they are not sports freaks like me.   With that in mind, if the dancers can pick out flaws in the Duck's game, you know the Green and Yellow are in trouble;

Dancer, "Are they supposed to dribble the ball that high?"
Coach, "Nope, that's why USC is stealing it."
Dancer, "Shouldn't they make the basket when they are so close?'
Coach, "You would hope so."
Dancer, " Shouldn't we pass to our own players?"
Coach, "That's what Coach Westhead is telling them."

I hope they can step it up when we go back in March for another $2 game.   However, one dancer has said that if she returns, she will bring a book to read.   Oh well, just goes to show most sports fans are born, not made.

Friday, February 11, 2011

When Will They Learn

UCLA forward Reeves Nelson recently stated to the LA Times, "I'm not going to try and bad-mouth the kid because I know he plays hard," Nelson said of Singler, "but I'm just going to try and not let his cheap shots get in my head..."   
OK Reeves, nice quote.   Didn't bad mouth him didja, oh wait you said his "cheap shots" won't get in your head.   Listen you spoiled L.A. Prima Donna (oh sorry, no offense intended), Singler plays hard on a team that is woefully undersized and they did a number on you.   Just admit your shortcomings and play better the next time.   0 points on 0 shots on the first meeting is not due to cheap shots, it is due to good defense and hustle, give the Ducks some credit.   
Get over it, get another tattoo, and practice your game, geez! 

And so with me finally embracing that football is over and the basketball season is in full swing, it is time for a basketball edition of the 
Cry Baby Award.   
It goes to none other that the aforementioned 
Reeves Nelson
 Squirt me some tears big guy!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Break Up The Ducks!

     In an earlier blog, I had insinuated that the Duck Men Hoopsters would be hard pressed to compete in the Pac-10.    Once again, I am wrong!   When Dana Altman was hired as head coach, most of us said, "Dana Who?"   We now know he is as close to a miracle worker as we have ever had here at Oregon.   Undersized and undermanned, he has these Ducks believing in his system and playing their tail feathers off.  The results so far include wins over five Pac-10 opponents.  Most impressive was their sweep of the Washington schools.   Can they keep it up?   We all hope so. 

With that, I am awarding my first Winged Zed of the basketball season
to Coach Dana Altman
Thanks for becoming a Duck.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

National Passtime Dead and Buried in Portland

I'll start by saying that Portland is not one of my favorite places - 
and it just went further down the list.   
In October the Portland Beavers, 
an Oregon sports institution since 1903,
was sold to the owner of the San Diego Padres.   
As the Beavs relocate possibly to Escondido,CA,  Oregon just kissed goodbye to the closest thing we had to the major leagues.   In its place we have Portland Timbers Soccer.  You should know I'm not a soccer fan and the idea that we replace Beaver baseball with soccer irritates the snot out of me.   Even the name Timbers irks me.   When I think of timber, I think of loggers and of course all loggers talk..... soccer?  
I was a logger and I never recall 
the word "soccer" in any break-time conversation. 
This must be a Communist plot 
in cahoots with aliens to turn our brains to mush. 

Good thing we reinstated Duck Baseball
so that we can still conserve a little bit of Americana in Eugene.