National Passtime Dead and Buried in Portland

I'll start by saying that Portland is not one of my favorite places - 

and it just went further down the list.   

In October the Portland Beavers, 

an Oregon sports institution since 1903,

was sold to the owner of the San Diego Padres.   

As the Beavs relocate possibly to Escondido,CA,  Oregon just kissed goodbye to the closest thing we had to the major leagues.   In its place we have Portland Timbers Soccer.  You should know I'm not a soccer fan and the idea that we replace Beaver baseball with soccer irritates the snot out of me.   Even the name Timbers irks me.   When I think of timber, I think of loggers and of course all loggers talk..... soccer?  

I was a logger and I never recall 

the word "soccer" in any break-time conversation. 

This must be a Communist plot 

in cahoots with aliens to turn our brains to mush. 

Good thing we reinstated Duck Baseball

so that we can still conserve a little bit of Americana in Eugene.