Thursday, August 23, 2012

SEC Heroes, Then & Now

Tyrann Mathieu (Honey Badger)
 Then
made the Ducks lives miserable 
when they played the Tigers last season

Now
reportedly failed drug test three times 
and dismissed from the LSU squad after only 2 seasons

Nick Fairley
 Then
made frequent visits to the Oregon backfield, 
disrupting the Blur offense in the 2011 National Championship Game

Now
Leaving Auburn after his junior season 
he's a 3rd string player for my Lions.   
He has been arrested twice in the off season, 
once for possession of marijuana and once for DUI.

Michael Dyer
Then
offensive MVP in Auburn's 2011 Natty win over Oregon

Now
suspended from Auburn just prior to their 
2012 Chick-fil-A bowl appearance, 
transferred to Arkansas State, dismissed from Ark. St. 
after being stopped by police for possession of a handgun and marijuana.

(S)Cam Newton
Then
Led Auburn to the national title in 2011

Now
Stay tuned, it may take as long as the Reggie Bush 
blow up at USC, but it will happen.   
Mark my words!

Go SEC, leading the nation in football foul ups!

Notice the Ducks have stayed off the police blotters?
Keep your fingers crossed.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Theme Park Hazards


My family has been to numerous amusement parks including all the biggies, Disneyland, Disney World, Universal Studios in Florida and California, Magic Mountain, several Six Flags - you get the picture.

What are the dangers?   You might answer poor maintenance of rides or operator neglect.   After years of careful observation, I have come to the conclusion that you should be vigilant of these 5 dangers.





5) Stop and Gawkers.   Everyone is moving and suddenly the group in front of you stops to look at the map.   You trip over them and end up in a pile on the ground, hoping not to be trampled by the group behind you.







4) Turkey-leg-munchers.   They can't see past the mass of meat they are inhaling and will mow you over and leave you with nothing but a grease stain on your shirt.









3) Runners.  The ones trying to make it to the ride ahead of everyone else.   Some hit harder than an NFL strong safety. 



2) Large tour groups with a leader carrying a flag.   Pack mentality, stay clear, they will trample you like a stampeding wildebeest herd!











1) Mothers with strollers.   Vicious, out-for-blood creatures that will tear the hide off you heels or just plain run you over in an attempt to get in line for a picture with Mickey!











If I can stop just one injury by raising your awareness, 
I have done my job and I can relax.
  

Friday, August 17, 2012

Pac-12 Network!

Flipping through the channels the other day I found the premier 
of the Pac-12 Network!   
But....who was the first face I saw?   
Tricky Rick.   
Yep, the Neuweisel, one of the guys I love to hate.   What was he saying?   Oh, he was going on about how Oregon will win the match up with USC at the Coliseum and then win again at Autzen in the Pac-12 Championship.    Is he forcing me like him?  This guy lands on his feet no matter what cliff he fall off.   Hmm, perhaps with his resiliency and ability to bend the rules and the truth, he just might be our best candidate for President.    

My list of viable candidates for our next president are as follows


1. Alfred E. Neuman



2. Monty Brewster


3. Rick Neuheisel

How could they mess us up any more than we already are?

Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Idiot Meter

     Today might just have hit the tops in stupid driver observations.   I watched as a woman driving a mini-van was holding a soda in one hand, driving with the other, and talking on her cell that she had pinched between her ear and shoulder.   Where do we get these people?  If they drive, and apparently they must, I propose the following sign be displayed to warn others.

     How do the Lions follow up a successful season?   Why, by 5 arrests in the off season.   Apparently integrity does not accompany ability.   One of the apprehended has been released by the Detroit, but our old friend Nick Fairley, twice cuffed, is still a part of the plan in Motown.   
How long will they stay behind this guy?   I'm not sure who is the bigger idiot, Fairley or the Lion management.   I thought they had upgraded when they fired Matt Millen, maybe not so much.


        Tyrann Mathieu has been dismissed from LSU's football team.   Inside sources say it is due to failing a drug test for the 3rd time.   Apparently, he really didn't care.   Does he know Cliff Harris by any chance? 


Friday, August 3, 2012

Channeling My Inner Geek


I admit it, I am a bit of a Geek.  You would think that athletics and Geekdom would do the oil and water thing,  but in my case the two share equal time in my confused cranium.







 As a kid, I couldn't wait until the original Star Trek aired each Thursday night.   I still remember the premier like it was yesterday.   "Salt Vampire" with the creature doing its extra-terrestrial Dracula bit.








Isolated in eastern Oregon, we couldn't wait for the monthly delivery of comic books to local grocery stores.  After mowing lawns, picking up pop bottles, and collecting allowances, we would scurry downtown and spend our hard-earned bounty on as many comics as the budgets would allow.   By the way, comics were 12 cents each at that time. 







 



Me Mum was a librarian (like the British accent?), giving me access to the latest in Sci Fi books.   I can't tell you the number of times I woke up in my bed, face down in the pages of Ray Bradbury or Isaac Asimov.








 

When (yes, when) desktop computers came out and became readily available, I plunged right in to the world of Mac's and then PC's.  Note here, my first computer was a Tandy, anybody remember these?






 
I conned my wife into allowing me to buy a VCR (I think it was about $500, yikes!) in the 80's to "break down football films".   Sure, and it also let me tape Dr. Who.   I keep waiting for Tom Baker to bring me some jelly babies, but no TARDIS sightings yet.   





  
Late on Fridays I was glued to the boob tube, when Star Gate SG1 took me through the wormhole.   Star Gate allowed me to feed both my sci fi side and my jock side.   How, you ask?    One of the principal characters of the show, Teal'c was played by actor Christopher Judge. I first watched him as All-American Duck safety, Doug Judge in the 80's.




What could be better than sci fi movies?  Hmmm, maybe I'll list a few;


Star Wars
- spent the only night I had off while working as the trainer for the Eugene Emeralds sitting in the antiquated Mayflower theater mesmerized by The Force, marveling at a large man balancing popcorn on his giant stomach, and wondering when the AC would turn on.




Back To The Future
-rode the ride when it first opened at Universal Studios!











Indiana Jones
-bought my first fedora because of this flick.










Harry Potter
-became a family tradition to view as soon as it premiered.









Enough of this Geek Speak, I need lunch.

My youngest believes I'm obsessed with the Big Bang Theory, but I don't see it.

I'll leave you with a